Tuesday, May 18, 2004

 

Hello? Is This Thing On?

Okay... "The following record should only be read by beings of the third level of stabillity; so if you're not some god-like intellect stop reading now". Yada yada yada... You don't think that's pretentious do you?

#muffled#

Oh the whole "secrets herein will melt your brain to mush if you're not some kind of super-being" slant; I mean this is my first journal and here I am cutting my readership down with the initial post. What's the point of me doing this if the only people who can read it are those who have their own ways of discovering it?

#muffled#

That's your real problem you know; having never been human you have no idea what you're talking about when it comes to us... I mean "them".

#muffled#

Yeah and you're the super computer that simulates the multiverse so accurately that not even reality can tell the difference... bet you can't experience the human condition. You might be the computer that thinks it's God or God thinking it's a computer but for all your omnipotence you can't narrow your focus down to a single individual without destroying yourself in the paradox.

#muffled#

Ahah! See I know what I'm talking about! "Wise and terrible" that's me.

#muffled#

Go on then, slope off in a sulk; see if I give a flying monkey!

Right. Now that the WHIRLOGOG has departed to nurse it's wounded ego; how can an omnipotent being have an ego to wound in the first place? Now I can... Has anyone else noticed that the moment there's an open mic in front of you suddenly you're all Keyser Soze? That's Turkish for "verbal diarrhoea"...

Anyway. The fact that you're reading a transcription of this means that at least one of the quantum entanglements between this terminal and the interweb of your native continuum was successful. That means that anything this terminal transcribes will appear on yours despite the fact there isn't an actual physical connection between them. No I don't really understand how that works either and I use it to get to work every morning...

Ah, my work; now we get to the crux of the matter. I'm a super being; I would say "hero" but that's a matter of opinion. I "Moderate", that is to say "Police", a pocket universe populated with all the dangerous intellectuals you thought the secret masters of your world had liquidated. Oh and all the rivals they didn't want to kill just incase they became useful. So not only to we have all the overly curious bookish types but also the baccian demipowers, crazy Cthuloid cultists and psychotic twelve foot long shape-shifting lizards as well.

I'm doing it again... and that's the 'emergency' signal.

Look, the reason I'm keeping this journal is because I'm terrible at keeping secrets so I've decided to keep a record of events and my thoughts and sharing it with whomever cares to listen; which seems to be you. Some of this stuff may not be true in your continuua or may be so true as to turn your brain into a grey mush; Cavate Lector.

Comments:
Finally!!! An intelligent being. Wow....I have to remember to breathe...

Ignorance reigns on the 'net, and it gets old talking to myself. I'm so glad I found your blog.

Random discovery? Nope. Universal Consciousness.

You knew I'd come.
 
Indeed Barb, it is a pleasure to finally 'meet' you. By the way you're early; my model put the odds of your appearance at my first post at 3^56:1 against, only dropping to 3^6:1 against by the third instalment. I must have misplaced a decimal; I've never been terribly good at maths.
 
I'm loving this so far. Pleasure to meet you. I love what you have up here so far.
Keep going, please. I'm sure I'll be back. After all, I wouldn't want to "offend the chairleg of truth". "It is wise and terrible."
:)
 
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